Yesterday my (female) collegues and I had a very stimulating conversation about women and modesty. This was promted by a Guardian article in Friday's G2 called "Chastity is chic" (by Jessica Valenti) and it was about the growing (?) chastity/modesty movement in the US.

What an interesting topic! And there are so many views just amongst us women we didn't really get round to asking the men around us (who were possibly quite relieved...). The modesty issue was not only about sexual behaviour but also about the clothes women wear. As someone who only fairly recently has discovered the liberation of wearing what I wish to wear and learning not to care what others think of my choices/style, I found the discussion on boundaries an interesting one. I freely admit to deploring the (lack of) clothing of women on the Kingsway/Wind Street in winter, but i still think that trying to dictate someone's wardrobe is a tricky situation to put yourself in. I resent the implication that men can't control themselves and the responsibility of their behaviour rests with us. It seems a bit much. I'd love to see the article about men dressing modestly...

Another interesting point in the article was the movement's idea that a woman's goal in life should be marriage. We sadly didn't get round totalking about this issue as we were caught up in comparing what we'd wear in various places, and feelings on make-up (I think it has been a good 6 or 7 years since I last wore any).

During my first year at Uni a girl who lived on the same floor as I did was almost solely at University to find a husband. She even considered moving to a different University because she didn't think there were enough suitable men around. So I'm not quite so quick to dismiss the marriage goal as I once was - it obviously can be an important one to some people. Personally, though, I cannot imagine basing my life around such a goal. I've got other things to do with my time/life, thank you very much!

I guess chastity is a fairly 'revolutionary' idea at the moment, and if this movement can offer support to women than all the better. I think I'm reacting more to the marketing strategies and the black-and-white view they, like so many advertisers, present. It did make a couple of hours go past quite quickly inbetween (and during) serving customers...

This is what I'm up to at the moment

This is what is currently keeping me busy. It is fun to see it working after 7 weeks of planning, although I can't quite shake off the feeling that I'm only "playing" cafe... If you are in the Mumbles, do come down and say hi!!

You can never have too many cables...

I've spent a lovely weekend at this delightful little festival nestled among the hills in mid-Wales, despite the rain. Undercurrents were there so we ran the cinema on both Friday and Saturday night 10pm - 2am. Last year I was a mere punter at Small Nations so it was a very different experience working it. I saw/heard far less music this year but I did enjoy my role as roadie/techie/projectionist/stall holder. We were an all women group this weekend which was a laugh, and quite nice to see amongst all the other male technicians. Borrowing cables is a great way to make friends, bizarrely enough. And there was no shortage of tall young men to balance precariously on a chair on top of a table to get our screen up and down from the top of the marquee, or move the heavy stage around...

Saturday night I got to run the show as Helen went to have a dance. Typically as soon as she disappeared and D had gone to get something from the van the power went! Much to my surprise I managed to sort it all out (amidst the heckling from the crowd - I'm rather proud of that!) and soon was comfortably back into screening more stuff. Mark Thomas (the comedian) was a great pull and we got crowds of 50+ which I was so excited about:) He has got his head screwed on the right way, and is genuinely funny poking fun at the activist scene and making some serious points that keep you thinking even if you are laughing.

Labyrinths

It was exciting finding a labyrinth in London. I find them intriguing, possibly because I don't know that much about them. The fact that they are not mazes, you don't get lost, I find very comforting.

Walking towards the centre means leaving our ordinary tasks, letting go of our preoccupations, quieting of our hearts and minds, and opening ourselves to God's presence.

Reaching the centre creates space for focusing on Jesus Christ, the centre of our lives.

Leaving the labyrith means retracing the path that brought us in. During this time we carry with us whatever we received at the centre.

The adoption of the labyrith by the Christian faith began during the Roman period. The first known pavement labyrinth with obvious Christian context is found in a basilica in Algeria. At first the labyrinth appeared mainly in manuscripts, but during the 12th century they began to appear in cathedrals and churches in Italy. During the 13th century they spread to France where many fine example were constructed. They soon became popular across Europe, but many were destroyed from the 17th century onwards as tastes changed.

Travelling again

This time I went down to London to meet my mum who had flown in from Finland. We hardly make conventional tourists: my mum's top places to visit are Paperchase, Boots, and the National Art Gallery; and we walked passed the London Eye after briefly toying with the idea of going up because the queues were far too long. However, I think we both got what we really wanted - time in the London Mennonite Centre and Highgate, a chance to join the service in the UK's only Mennonite church, and talk in Finnish which neither of us do on a regular basis it would seem.

LMC is my favourite place in London! As I took my pilgrimage down the bottom of the garden to visit the swing I discovered a labyrinth in the grass next to the prayer hut which was unexpected and delightful. Walking it was a lovely ten minutes of my life even as I was dodging fallen prickly holly leaves... I have visited that swing as long as I can remember, and it is an integral part of my image of LMC. However, I must have shrunk - I'm sure the swing is up higher than it used to be!!

I watched the Portugal and Holland match at the house we were staying at. It started off as a social activity with Daniel (mostly to be polite on my behalf) but how can you not get interested in a match where 16 yellow cards are handed out!!!

Hmmmm...but what does it mean?

I don't know what to think of my theological worldview now!:) [This is from QuizFarm.com What's your theological worldview?]

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 82%
Emergent/Postmodern 68%
Neo orthodox 64%
Roman Catholic 36%
Classical Liberal 32%
Charismatic/Pentecostal 25%
Modern Liberal 25%
Reformed Evangelical 14%
Fundamentalist 4%

Stonehenge

What a place!! A carload of us arrived at 3am and walked down to the stones as light streaks were appearing and the moon and stars were starting to come out from behind the clouds. The 'Battle of the Beanfields' playing in my head I was actually surprised to be allowed to go right up and, dodging the dozy reveller, touch the giant stones. "This is so amasing!!" was repeated more times than I care to remember...

In the minutes before sunrise I was standing outside the circle by the Heel Stone alternatively looking at the sky in the east and also turning around to look at the lightning storm contained within the circle from all the camera flashes. There was an insane strobe effect going on. We had to wait until about 5am to see the sun come out from behind the clouds - but the field did errupt into whoops and cheers. What a way to see a day in!

Druids with mobile phones, hippies, tourists, party-goers, children...they were all there. Spending a lazy morning at Stonehenge provided ample opportunity for people watching. That is one of my favourite bits of festivals (and boring train journeys etc) so it was fun to have everyone in such a small concentrated place. People were generally happy/weird/funny/enjoying themselves and I do think that was the best possible way to visit Stonehenge - when there's a big party going on!

Traipsing back along fields of barley and gorgeous red poppies, driving through English countryside (with signs for tank crossings!) and by thatched cottages, stopping off for lunch in a pub with a scratchy CD to entertain us, and dashing round Swansea to find a banana rounded off the trip nicely. And then I went to the Red Cafe and managed to stay awake for another four hours before collapsing in my bed for a blessed 11 hour sleep.

The stones themselves were more than impressive, and definately had a presence. I like the fact we don't quite know for sure everything about them as it means we can bring our own celebration to it all. It was a special moment seeing the stone circle for the first time in the pre-dawn darkness. And I'm glad to celebrate the light. I am alive.

It's solstice...again!

Tomorrow is the longest day of the year! Somehow that just feels wrong as summer has only just started. A few of us are taking a roadtrip to Stonehenge tonight. We leave in a couple of hours and are going to be there to see the sunrise (weather permitting) and then we'll drive back... Sounds like fun - and a great excuse to visit the place.

Mobile phones

I recently lost mine... It was right before a trip to Lake Windermere so I spent the whole weekend out of contact. Once I had reconciled myself to the loss of my possession like a good Buddhist I quite enjoyed it all. When I returned to Swansea I found out that my phone had returned from its travels and had come through the letterbox! Clever phone! I then spent 40 minutes writing down all the phone numbers stored on my phone into my address book...

Plants are friends

Gardening is addictive... It all started off admiring my friends' hard work in their garden. Then we got excited about their allotment. Then Fred and I bought fusias and lined the pots up the stairs in our little bit of concrete. And now our landlord has given us a bit of his garden so Abi planted lots of seeds and this morning I planted in a courgette, some lettuce, two tomato plants and three mystery ones (I've forgotten what they are...). It was a brilliant way to start the day: digging around in the soil and planting things!! I have no real confindence in my ability to grow anything/keep anything alive but I am willing to have a go. Also it does seem less threatening than trying to look after a whole garden/allotment.

I've got until the end of August in this particular house and garden so that should be enough time to harvest some of the food providing it doesn't get desimated by slugs. And having compared notes with my grandparents over this weekend (they live on the east of England in the drought zone) I'm quite glad we're allowed to water our garden... Ooo. Listen to me!! Soon I'll be speaking about the differences in composts and gardening methods like a proper enthusiast! Like any interest area it does have it's very incomprehensible (to outsiders) language which I am slowly starting to understand - I think. I wonder if there is a dictionary around that does garderner-speak into English?

Eurovision Contest

I heard rumours of this... A heavy metal band in the Eurovision song contest... And guess who they are representing? That's right: Finland!!

Our entry is Lordi and the song is called Hard Rock Hallelujah. Actually I am now quite intrigued by it and looking forward to seeing it on Saturday. My friend booked time off work to watch the Eurovision contest so the rest of us decided she couldn't possibly do it by herself and we've invited ourselves along to a European cultural evening of critising and laughing at bad music.

Be Nice To Nettles

17th-28th of May is Be Nice To Nettles Week the Independent informs me. Fair enough, I agree that nettles are quite cool and you can do a lot of interesting things with them. It is a versatile plant: we've got nettle tea in the house, my friends have made some nettle soup recently from nettles they collected themselves, and if I could make a nettle cloth I'd be very happy!! At least we can be greatful that we don't have species of nettle on this island that could potentially kill us as they do in Java or Timor.

Do I want this job? I've filled in my side of the paperwork for a job with the Youth Service as a detached youth worker and in this period of waiting realise I feel rather ambigious about the job. Or perhaps that's not quite true. For the large part I think it's an amasing opportunity and would love to get it, but there are a few niggling doubts that keep cropping up. Whilst I know I'd be jumping up and down if it was offered to me there is a tiny voice that recognises that things might be easier if I didn't get it...

1a) The job is in Clydach - I was bowled over by the leafy beauty of the place, it felt absolutely gorgeous, and the new centre has so much potential in it for all kinds of exciting work. 1b) Clydach is about the furthest point away from Mumbles I could find while still being in Swansea. The commute is going to be an interesting challenge for a non-driver like myself. 2a) It's a part-time job with very flexible hours that they are willing to fit around me and were quite sympathetic to my existing schedule of events. 2b) Have I bitten off more than I can chew? I'm already committed to doing one part-time job which I'll have to learn as I go along (co-ordinating a summer cafe), do I really want to learn another job as well (...umm...yes...)?

That's just a little sample of some of the questions whizzing around my head. A bit of advice I received last Tuesday was to write down what I wished for and put it under my pillow. In theory I was well up for that - I just couldn't decide what it was I wished for...

Gloriously unemployed!!

I finished work today, having handed in the notice last Monday, and so I am now a lady of leisure! Excellent! With the ovens baking away it was a relief to slip away, and extremely exciting that I don't have to go back. I've been looking forward to this moment since, well...pretty much since I started in the first place.

My future plans include: reading some books, getting out onto the Gower and some of it's beautiful beaches, cooking a meal (I'm sure I can manage that in a couple of weeks...), volunteering down in the marina with Undercurrents for a change, and general stuff like that... And then beyond that I'll be starting a little part time job down in the Red Cafe in June. Looks like something did fall out of the sky after all. Even if I did have to wait a year!

I forgot to bring a book along today to work to read during my 10 minute break and was thus forced into reading OK Magazine. I approached it with a certain amount of curiosity as I'm not familiar with this rag - only to find it full of people I'd never heard of. Hurray! I'm more out of touch than I thought I was... I also learned that "beautiful women have no character", or at least that's what Craig David thinks. He failed to mention anything about beautiful/handsome men. Though perhaps the two lines of text underneath a HUGE photo didn't allow him justice to express himself fully?

Yesterday I had my 3rd picnic in Clyne Gardens on May the 1st. And I've only been here four years:) I'm glad I've got some nice traditions going - and this one is particularly nice. Clyne Gardens are so gorgeous this time of year. I can't believe I have been lucky enough to live right on the edge of the Gardens for a year and that I got to go through them every single day and watch everything grow and change. Apart from the fact that I was living in a 19th Century castle... And the day was nicely rounded off with sitting around a fire with friends. Bank holidays rule!!

Brookie

On Sunday I met somebody.

Brookie. She is 83. Lives on the Gower at the end of a disintegrating dirt track we got to by riding in the back of a pickup truck. Was wearing a cool hat, her trousers inside out ("it often happens"), and had a cane but was still agile enough to bend down and crawl into the guinea pig enclosure to pick them up and show us. Wherever she went she was surrounded by her four rescue dogs who obeyed her. She yelled at the hens, talked to her goats, ducks, horses, and cats. Showed us into her house and gave us some Pimms in the living room where we listened to some great jazz and talked ("Speak up girl, stop mumbling. I'm deaf as well as daft.") The hour was so vibrant and full of life.

I sat in awe of a real presence. I now have something to aspire to for when I am 83.

Palm Sunday (ish)

Here is an astonishing thing! On Palm Sunday, as we turn toward the cross, we are invited to welcom the King who comes as a humble monarch riding on a donkey. With believing hearts, we confess that Jesus Christ is Lord and shout "Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord!"

Tales from work...

Even my co-worker is now telling me she can't understand why I'm in that job, what with all my qualifications and everything. This is so depressing! It put a real damper on the morning. Somehow it seems very hard to communicate that I quite like being able to pay the rent and the bills... Though I must agree it would be lovelier to do that through a nicer job. Only a few days ago we spent the whole hysterical day with the giggles, dancing around, and Karen threatening to sing... As we explained to a customer: you have to laugh, otherwise you do cry (today almost being a case in point).

My bucket-racketeering empire is one of the few good things about this job of mine. Loads of things come in nice big buckets which used to be chucked before I opened my doors as a half-way house for unwanted buckets. At the moment they carry on to become compost buckets for about five urban households. The compost then gets collected and placed in my friends' allotment - an excellent project for those of us without a garden and hate throwing food away. A few other buckets have been turned into flower pots or storage containers for flour so the mice/rats don't get in.

And customers... I seriously do not understand how they manage to survive as a species... Again, you have to laugh. Not particularly at them but at the whole weird situation. It's surprising how many people will barely acknowledge your existence, so I've made it my mission when I'm behind the counter to make them notice me and recognise that there is a human behind that counter of glass. So far, smiling and looking into their eyes seems to have worked well. It is lovely when someone snaps out of wherever they were to smile back at you.

aargh!

It is 11:30 PM and I am in the university library. This is terrible!! I never did this as an undergraduate... (mostly because the library would close at 10pm, but that's beside the point). I do think this is a shocking state of affairs and not fair! Whinge, moan... Writing/analysisng/thinking about teenagers is rubbing off making me act like one too. I know that technically I'm a young person untill the age of 25, but you know what I mean.

The silly thing about all this work [I'm trying to finish off coursework for the foundation in youth work thing I'm doing] is that it is so soul-numbingly boring that it is making me forget how much I do actually enjoy all the youth work that I do do. I never read that being one of the aims of the course.

Ok. Whinge over. I'm off to bed. Though you'll probably find me in here tomorrow again...

Lent week 5

Here is an astonishing thing! We are called to abandon the parched valley of the dry bones of death and are invited to be restored to life through the breath of God's Spirit. With renewed hearts, we wait in hope for our full redemption.

Horse!

That's a great new game I was introduced to on our long drive down, around, and back from Cornwall. It involves spotting horses, among other things, and collecting points... A nice little red Micra is a very tiny car for five people on such a long journey, even the old classic 'I Spy' got an airing when we were stuck in traffic, but I have to say it was worth it.

And the Eden Project...wow. I was blown away by it, by the sheer amount of plants. Being there is the midst of them exploring all the different colours and shapes was fantastic. The biodomes are so huge. (I wonder how much food could be produced in them:) Only trouble is that I now want to go and visit them all in their natural habitats... It is a fantastic use of an old quarry at any rate. Do you reckon they could do a similar thing with old coal mines?? Well, happy 5th birthday, Eden Project, and may you have many more succesful years to come.

It's hard to decide what was the best bit of the holiday: whether having a bath in the cottage, the amasing sea, spending quality time with my friends, seals and otters... But it has made coming back to work twice as miserable. I didn't touch a cornish pasty whilst there as I'm that sick and tired of seeing them at work!! Possibly having a holiday was the best bit of the holiday, if you know what I mean:) Cornwall is absolutely beautiful and full of so many things to see and do that we are already planning our next trip down!

And look out for nuns on bikes as that wins you the game of 'horse' for ever and ever...